Not quite snakes on a plane

Guns on a plane... I don't see this as a good thing. I see as I watch football (I love to watch football, even the Lions, who suck) That tomorrow on the Today show they are going to show how Pilots will get guns to protect themselves. I have a question: What happens to the plane while the pilots is turned around shooting into the cabin where I am sitting?
1) that guns is pointed at me. That is a big no no. Point that thing at someone else, like the fat guy taking up half of my seat.
2) someone needs to fly the plane, I know they have auto pilot, but I am pretty sure we are a few years out of auto - landing. If I have to jump in that seat and land the plane, I will. I will ask for a refund on my ticket and some bonus miles if I land the plane. Sorry it is a personal policy I have.
3) what if they miss when they pull the trigger? I am no expert, but I am pretty sure it is important that we keep cabin pressure. I don't want to get sucked out a 1 inch hole at 30,000 ft - another personal policy

I have a better idea, lets give them tazors and a trap door, so when you get an asshole who stands up at the wrong time, you just drop him out the bottom of the plane. What about cabin pressure you ask, well I have that figured out, it would be 2 doors, one in the main cabin, then the second would be below in the luggage hold. It would have a plastic tube like the ones you see in the play lands at McDonald's. The second door would not open until the first shut, protecting cabin pressure.

Then for the last thing, I get a gun on the plane, b/c I want some extra peanuts!