Apples....The Magical Fruit

We had some family up from Indiana. We are getting the table ready for dinner. In the middle of the table sits a great big yellow apple. Emily, picks it up, looks at it and asks "Did this come from a tree?"

The kitchen fell silent and then full of laughter. NO! it came from the ground. Apples are a magical fruit that comes from the ground. Not just any ground, but only the ground cared for by elves. Each day they go out and manage smurfs who actually do the work(every thing is out sourced these days, that damned NAFTA is ruining it for everyone). Then when it is time for harvest the elves hook up their Dings(ipods for those who didn't go to DC, but they have to keep upgrading b/c Steve Jobs keeps putting out new cooler models(elves can't resist shiny things)) to the sound system they got off of Ebay and play music from a Centaur, well he says he is the artist formally known as a Centaur. When the music starts the apples wiggle around in the dirt and then pop up in to the air(kind of like the cars in that new GM commercial) then they race off to the nearest box as fast as they can. It kind of looks like Tigers fans racing for World Series tickets. After they are in the box, they are taken to the barn to be graded for size and appearance b/c in America we are shallow and only like pretty things. Then they are packed and shipped to the store. Santa delivers them b/c he is only really busy one day a year and health care costs for the elves are sky rocketing( I tried to tell him to keep the union out but he caved, what a wus). So that is where we get apples from.

Now I know that Em didn't mean it like it sounded, but if you say something like that at Ma and Pa Skinner's you better be ready for what is coming.

So I was on my way to work at Monaco Trucking(my buddies trucking company) and I prayed I would hear something from Padnos, not thirty minutes later I got a call. I should have another interview next week. I love the way God works. So please pray for me. I really want to work at Padnos.

Make sure you get your magic apples from Skinner Homestead Acres.